So what exactly is a compliment? A compliment is a positively worded statement through which you genuinely indicate what you appreciate about your employees and what they do. It is most effective when it is short and sweet and not immediately played down. Therefore, make a habit of noticing what staff do well and give a well-meant compliment. A compliment, however, loses its power completely when it is used as an introduction to broach a negative point. Try to keep the majority of compliments strictly positive to keep employee morale high.

 

Criticism Is Merely a Way to Vent Your Negative Feelings – It’s not an Effective Way to Shape Employee Behavior

 

The opposite of a compliment is criticism; it’s the expression of disapproval of someone based on perceived faults or mistakes. Criticism is generally experienced as negative and as a personal attack. It will make staff members believe that you don’t like them as a person. For managers, the advice is therefore: Simply don’t do it!

 

Feedback Is About Discussing Behavior That Can Be Modified

 

Feedback, on the other hand, is not about one’s character, but merely is information about a person’s performance of a task. Feedback in its simplest form is giving someone a tip, or a suggestion on how to handle something differently.

Here are some general rules to raise the probability that your staff member will attempt to change their behavior when given feedback:

• Face-to-face, alone: Especially when feedback is unsolicited, it isn’t given publicly but privately. This may mean you need to create an opportunity in which feedback can be given. Usually, a simple invitation will suffice, such as: ‘May I have a word with you?’, ‘Do you have a minute for me?’ or ‘When could I speak with you privately?’
• Introduce the goal: Briefly state the purpose, for example: ‘I would like to speak with you about something I have noticed.’ By being direct and transparent, you are being forthcoming and genuine. Suppress the desire to begin with something positive or a compliment, as the receiver will already anticipate what is about to happen.
• Recent behavior: It is easier to remember something that happened today or yesterday than something that happened last week. If the other cannot even remember exactly what happened, chances are your message won’t come across clearly. Try to stick to recent behavior.
• Offer alternatives: Provide concrete, executable and desirable behavior. This is also the essential ingredient of feedback: Letting the other know what you do want or would rather see.
• Short and sweet: Your message and your wish come across strongest when you stick to the core issue and are concise. Don’t weaken your message with a lot of other information.
• Ask for willingness: The other’s willingness to change something in their behavior increases when you explicitly ask: ‘Would you do that for me?’ Most people find it difficult to turn down a request for help, more so than any other kind of request.
• Listen to the reaction: The last step is to be quiet, listen to any reaction the other may give, and if at all possible leave the choice up to them.

 

Feedback needs to be given in the correct dosage, meaning taking the other’s resilience into account. Extensive feedback using the rules above is effective only when used occasionally and for meaningful issues; it certainly shouldn’t be used for every triviality.

To sum it all up: Compliments strengthen the employee/manager bond, while criticism disrupts it. Feedback is a way to make wishes known in such a manner that is professional and has a higher likelihood of getting results.